Snuggie
by Raven The Zombie Slayer
Summary: Apparently, an S-ranked criminal can't enjoy the benefits of having a blanket with arms without having his masculinity questioned.


**(Authoress' Note): **_**After getting a Virginia Tech snuggie for Christmas, I decided to write this. I know the characters are pretty ooc, but they pretty much always are in most of my stories. Anyway, enjoy…**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto nor am I the maker and manufacturer if snuggies, but I do own one, so that has to count for something, right?**_

_**WARNING: Cursing, death threats, and bullying of Hidan. **_

**Snuggie**

Kakuzu was strolling leisurely through the living room, on his way to the kitchen, when he spotted Hidan laying on the couch with some kind of fluffy contraption wrapped around him. He backpedaled a few steps and inspected the situation a bit further. It looked like a blanket of some sort with two arm holes.

"Hidan, what the hell is _that_ thing?" the masked nin asked suspiciously.

"What?" Hidan asked, looking away from the tv to gaze quixotically at his partner.

"That… that _thing_ that you are _wearing_," Kakuzu clarified.

"It's a fucking snuggie. You got a problem with it?" Hidan growled, pulling it tighter around his body.

"And just what the hell is a snuggie?" Kakuzu questioned, glaring at the offending piece of fabric and wondering how much it had cost.

"It's exactly what it looks like dumb ass. It's a fucking blanket with arms." Hidan glared at the older man, just daring him to question his motives. Kakuzu took no notice of the evil look.

"Where did it come from?" he questioned.

"I don't know. I saw some blonde bitch on the tv wearing one and I decided I wanted one. Are you fucking jealous or something?" Kakuzu rolled his eyes. Hidan _would _assume he was jealous.

"No, I'm not jealous," Kakuzu explained, "I was just wondering who I was going to have to hunt down and kill to get the money back for that ridiculous piece of fabric."

"Calm the fuck down," the silver haired man sighed, exasperated, "I didn't pay for the fucking thing. I obviously stole it and sacrificed its previous owner to Jashin. Do I _look_ like a fucking good citizen. I don't pay for shit. I just take it."

At that moment, a certain blonde girly-man vaulted over the back of the couch and settled himself at the end near Hidan's feet.

"Hey guys. What's up…what the hell are you wearing Hidan?" He eyed the garment with disdain.

"It's a fucking snuggie you bitch!" Hidan bellowed. "You assholes act like you've never seen a fucking blanket with arms before!"

"A blanket with arms?" came a curious voice from the doorway. "I didn't know there was such a thing."

"Well, maybe you should watch a little fucking more tv Kisame," the Jashinist suggested angrily.

"No, that's ok," the blue-skinned man snickered. "That looks nice on you though."

"I will fucking kill you fish boy!" Hidan yelled, jumping up from the couch.

They all laughed harder at the silver haired man as he stood there with the snuggie draped around his shoulders, covering him in the front and completely open in the back.

"Hidan, you look like a monk!" Deidara pointed out, giggling behind his hand.

"I'm going to sacrifice you all the Jashin!" Hidan threatened, his face red from anger and his hands clenched into tight fists.

"Hidan, you can't be badass while you're wearing a snuggie." Kisame smirked.

"Like hell I can't!" the offended man bellowed. "I could be badass wearing fucking bunny slippers!"

"I don't know about that," Kisame snickered, "but some bunny slippers would go nicely with your snuggie."

The entire room burst out laughing at the comment.

"I'll fucking sacrifice you all to Jashin you heathen bastards!" Hidan yelled, completely enraged.

"You already informed us of that," Kakuzu laughed uncharacteristically. "You might want to take the snuggie off first though. The blood stains would clash with the zebra print pattern."

If possible, Hidan's face became even more red. His head looked dangerously close to exploding.

"Zebra print is very stylish you fuckers!" the enraged Jashinist cried.

"Did Jashin grant you that stylish snuggie for sacrificing 100 virgin souls?" Deidara giggled, clutching his aching sides.

"I'll fucking kill you!" Hidan screamed. He lunged at the laughing blonde, but fell flat on his face when is feet became entangled in the snuggie. If possible, the laughter echoing through the room became even louder as the group watched the silver haired man struggle to free himself from the evil clutches of the snuggie.

"You just wait until I get out of this thing!" the silver haired man yelled. "I will kill you all!"

Everyone in the room immediately dispersed. Although it was funny as hell watching Hidan struggle to escape the confines of the blanket, there was no doubt in any of their minds that somebody would die if they were still present when Hidan got free.

When Kakuzu and Deidara dared to venture back through the living room three hours later, the silver haired Jashinist was sitting calmly on the couch once again, but the very stylish snuggie was scattered throughout the room in a million different pieces.

"Aww Hidan, you broke your snuggie!" Deidara cried.

"Fuck you blondie!" Hidan jumped up and chased the cackling blonde from the room, leaving Kakuzu to clean up the pieces of the mutilated snuggie.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakuzu was headed to the kitchen in search of food when he spotted Hidan laying on the couch with his head propped up on a suspicious looking animal-type pillow.

"Hidan, what the hell do you have now?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at the fluffy creature.

"It's a fucking pillow pet and it's cute a hell. Back the fuck off," Hidan defended, glaring at the older man and gathering the pillow pet protectively in his arms.

"What the hell is a pillow pet?" Kakuzu asked, walking over to the couch and pulling the thing from Hidan's arms. He held it out at arms length and inspected it carefully.

"It's exactly what I said you fucker. It's a pillow. It's a pet. It's a fucking pillow pet." Hidan informed, glaring. He jerked the fluffy animal away from the older man and held it to his chest.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and considered making some kind of joke, but decided against it. He didn't want to have to come in here and clean up pillow pet remains after Hidan finished throwing his little temper tantrum.

Besides, the damn thing was pretty fucking cute.

**(Authoress' Note): **_**I hope you found that somewhat enjoyable. I couldn't help but add the part with the pillow pet in there. I know I already wrote a story about pillow pets, but I just had to add it. Pillow pets are fucking adorable. Anyway, please review.**_

_**-**_** Any review is good! I don't mind flames. They will amuse me. I'm a major pyromaniac.- **


End file.
